Thursday, June 18, 2009

Serious / Philosophical post alert!

(Following on from my previous post) Myself and Duffo have known for sometime (obviously) that we were having another baby. Whilst this is *very* exciting for us unlike most people having a second child (or god forbid twins which happily is not the case!) our thoughts turn to the possibility of having another child with Down Syndrome.

We returned to the Rotunda who as always are excellent. We first had a scan in the EPU (Early Pregnancy Unit) where an initial scan showed all seemed well in that there was a baby in there alright and it had a heart beat and was moving about (always a plus).

A week or so later we returned to our consultant who referred us to do some testing in the hospital itself. The types of testing and risks were outlined very clearly. They range from a scan and bloods which are zero risk to the more 'riskier' tests. She explained it was best to start with the zero risk tests and then decide if we wanted to undertake the riskier tests. Now I would point out that we had decided in any event not to proceed to the riskier tests no matter what happened but this was our choice and I judge nobody for what they decide. Tricky area!

So the 'risk-free' testing involved another scan which focused on checking for characteristics of DS in our new baby. Of all the indicators they focussed predominantly on the fold at the back of the neck, the measurement in our case was well beneath the indicator level.

Next blood was taken whereby more indicators are looked for, the results of which come back next day along with a Paddy Power style statistical analysis. Age is a factor (Duffo is 21).

So fast forward to next day and I am in the car in town when Duffo calls to say Great News statistically the chances are near 2000-1 and we are both delighted! I hang up ecstatic and major guilt sweeps over me as I picture Ava Bear at home smiling at me. Would I be so devastated if I had another Ava? It is an odd mixed feeling to have.

The bottom line (and I am first and foremost a pragmatist) the reality is I want a brother or sister for Ava that will 'round' off our family. I like this idea of rounding as we have many new friends who have two kids one with DS and you know what that's what we want too. We have been lucky with Ava and her health but I will be honest and admit that I especially want a *healthy* child. Everyone wants that right?


ABandCsMom said...

I understand just what you mean. I agree. Every parent wants nothing more than a healthy child. Congrat's on the newest addition to be. What an exciting time for all of you.

Nan P. said...

Glad all looks ok. As you say, it's "what everybody wants". It must be a strange mix of feelings...

Then I look at this photo of Ava in her pretty summer dress... She is so cute!